Official Poopy List

[Satan]

THE GHOST POOPY

The kind where you feel the poopy come out, see poopy on the toilet paper,
but there's no poopy in the bowl.

THE CLEAN POOPY

The kind where you feel the poopy come out, see the poopy in the bowl, but
there's no poopy on the toilet paper.

THE WET POOPY


You wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting
toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin them with
those dreadful skid marks.

THE SECOND WAVE POOPY


This poopy happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and
you suddenly realize you have to poopy some more.

THE BRAIN HEMORRAHAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE POOPY


Also known as "Pop a Vein in your Forehead Poopy". You have to strain so much
to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.

THE CORN POOPY


No explanation necessary.

THE LINCOLN LOG POOPY


The kind of poopy that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first
breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.

THE NOTORIUS DRINKER POOPY


The kind of poopy you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most
noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl after you flush.

THE "GEE, I REALLY WISH I COULD POOPY" POOPY


The kind where you want to poopy, but even after straining your guts out, all
you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.

THE WET CHEEKS POOPY


Also known as the "Power Dump". That's the kind that comes out of your butt so
fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.

THE LIQUID POOPY


That's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes
all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns
your tender poop-chute.

THE MEXICAN FOOD POOPY


A class all its own.

THE CROWD PLEASER


This poopy is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it
to someone before flushing.

THE MOOD ENHANCER


This poopy occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby allowing you
to be your old self again.

THE RITUAL


This poopy occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of
a newspaper.

THE GUINESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS POOPY

A poopy so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations.

THE AFTERSHOCK POOPY


This poopy has an odor so powerful that anyone entering the vicinity within the next
7 hours is affected.

THE "HONEYMOON'S OVER" POOPY


This is any poopy created in the presence of another person.

THE GROANER


A poopy so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.

THE FLOATER


Characterized by its floatability, this poopy has been known to resurface after many
flushings.

THE RANGER


A poopy which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing
motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet
paper.

THE PHANTOM POOPY


This appears in the toilet mysteriously, and no one will admit to putting it there.

THE PEEK-A-BOO POOPY


Now you see it, now you don't. This poopy is playing games with you. Requires patience
and muscle control.

THE BOMBSHELL


A poopy that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate
to poopy (ie. during lovemaking or a root canal) or you are nowhere near poopying
facilities.

THE SNAKE CHARMER


A long skinny poopy which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position
- usually harmless.

THE OLYMPIC POOPY


This poopy occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event
in which you are entered and bares a close resemblance to the Drinker's Shit.

THE BACK-TO-NATURE POOPY


This poopy may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or
while hiding behind the passenger side of your car.

THE PEBBLES-FROM-HEAVEN POOPY


An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when
you actually CAN'T poopy.

PREMEDITATED POOPY


Laxative induced. Doesn't count.

POOPYZOPHERENIA


Fear of poopying - can be fatal!

ENERGIZER vs DURACELL POOPY


Also known as a "Still Going" poopy.

THE POWER DUMP POOPY


The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when you're done.

THE LIQUID PLUMBER POOPY


This kind of poopy is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over
the floor. (You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log Poopy.)

THE SPINAL TAP POOPY


The kind of poopy that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be
coming out sideways.

THE "I THINK I'M GIVING BIRTH THROUGH MY POOPYHOLE" POOPY


Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spinal Tap Poopies. The shape and size of
the turd resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in the rectum
for some time afterwards.

THE PORRIDGE POOPY


The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have
two choices: (a) flush and keep going, or (b) risk it piling up to your butt
while you sit there helpless.

THE "I'M GOING TO CHEW MY FOOD BETTER" POOPY


When the bag of Doritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your rectum
on the way out in the morning.

THE "I THINK I'M TURNING INTO A BUNNY" POOPY


When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make
tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.

THE "WHAT THE HELL DIED IN HERE?" POOPY


Also sometimes referred to as The Toxic Dump. Of course you don't warn anyone
of the poisonous bathroom odor. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and
enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air.

THE "I JUST KNOW THERE'S A TURD STILL DANGLING THERE" POOPY


Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop off
because if you wipe now, it's going to smear all over the place.

SUPRISE POOPY


The kind where you think you only need to fart so you don't go to the toilet but oops a poopy

[Chase]

Tried reading after The Liquid Poopy but none really got me laughing.

The Liquid Poopy up is hilarious and i went sideways in my chair.

[Exit]

[Juggalette]

[D-Walk]